


Dear Moaning Moony

by RiverBracken



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22856383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverBracken/pseuds/RiverBracken
Summary: Fed up with the Daily Prophets' coverage of events, Lily and Remus start up their own student paper, with Remus as the Agony Aunt.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Prologue: A secret within a secret

Remus Lupin felt much older than his 15 years as he made his way along the Hogwarts express. It had been an intense full moon a few nights before and he was really looking forward to finishing up his prefect rounds. Only a few more compartments to check. As he reached the final compartment, the door opened and Marlene McKinnon stepped out. Before she noticed Remus, she slumped against the door, pulling a muggle cigarette out of her pocket and lighting up. Remus sighed and once again wondered why he had been made a Prefect when he absolutely hated confrontation. McKinnon looked up noticing Remus for the first time.

“Oh don’t start Lupin” she said leaning further back into the wall. “You let Black get away with a lot worse.”

“Why does everyone think I have any control over what Sirius does?”

She shrugged “well you have more control than most.” She took a drag of her cigarette as Remus came to stand opposite her. 

“I just needed a bit of a break from my friends – you know?” Marlene offered unprompted. Remus hummed in response. He understood. After last year, Remus understood all too well. 

He hadn’t actually seen his fellow Marauders since stepping on the train. Well he had technically seen Sirius, along with everyone else on the platform. Sirius Black had arrived at the station dressed in full wizarding robes. Yet the second he took a step onto the train itself he turned pulling out his wand, looked his parents straight in the eye, and transformed his clothes into a tight pair of black jeans and black muggle t-shirt. Most parents would be impressed that their child was that accomplished at transfiguration. Orion Black was not most parents, and looked decidedly unimpressed at his eldest son’s actions. Remus dreaded to think what was in store for Sirius when he returned home for Christmas break. It was a nice piece of magic in Remus’s opinion. Completely pointless of course as Sirius would need to change into his school robes not long after, but Remus did understand Sirius’s desire to use magic as soon as he possibly could. Undoubtedly, the restrictions placed on underage wizards doing magic outside of school had been brought in by one of Sirius’s ancestors, after a long school holidays being stuck at home with a children like Sirius Black and James Potter. 

“All good down my end.” Remus turned to smile at his fellow prefect Lily Evans as she approached. She quirked an eyebrow at Marlene “is Dorcas talking about Roly again?” Marlene grimaced and nodded. 

“I really can’t sodding take it any more Lils. She just goes around and round driving herself mad about this guy. And if I say anything negative about him she just says that I don’t get him. I mean hell Lily I don’t want to fight with her the first day back. Not while she also has that prick to deal with.” Lily gave her a sympathetic look, then raised her eyebrow at Remus. 

“You know Marls, Remus here is a really good listener.” Marlene looked up at that and smirked. Stubbing out her cigarette under her boot, she slung an arm around Remus’s shoulder. 

“Mmm Lily good idea.” Remus looked at the two girls sceptically. They held his gaze expectantly. Remus really wasn’t very good at saying no to people. He sighed. 

“You want me to sit and listen to Dorcas then?”

“It would be darling if you could Remus?”

“And what? Give her dating advice?” They did realise that Remus only had limited dating experience right? He had been on a couple of dates over the past year and they had not ended well.

“Yep and preferably tell her to give Roly the shove.” Before Remus could protest Marlene opened the door to the compartment, grabbed his wrist and pulled him in behind her. Alice and Dorcas were sitting inside, Dorcas talking intensely. Alice was nodding along but her eyes were glazed over.

“Guess who finished their prefect rounds!” Marlene chirped while Remus waved awkwardly, taking a seat next to Dorcas.

“Hey Alice, want to come find the trolley?” Lily, subtle as ever, jumped in “I could really do with a sugar fix after having to face Potter already today.”

“Sure” Alice jumped up quickly to follow Lily and Marlene out of the carriage. Remus really wanted to know what James Potter had done to already have Lily offside, but the three girls had already shut the door and were hurrying down the corridor, leaving Remus and Dorcus alone. Remus had always liked Dorcas. In fact, he had a crush of her for most of first and second year. So had most of the other Gryffindor boys their age it turned out, after a very revealing game of truth or dare one night in third year.

“So how was your break?” Remus tried. Dorcas sighed.

“I’m guessing you know about it since the girls dragged you in here and then bolted.” Remus turned to her, catching her dark blue eyes. 

“They only told me a little” he said softly. Dorcas sighed again.

“I know they are sick of hearing about my drama, but it’s not like I can talk to my mum or dad about it. I’m not even meant to date until I turn sixteen so I have to keep Roly and I a secret.” Remus knew how hard it was to keep a secret from parents. He had spent the past summer trying his hardest to pretend that he was fine. Pretending that he still trusted Sirius, after the disastrous last few months of their fifth year. 

“Although” Dorcas continued “not going to lie, there is something sexy about sneaking out to meet him, and sneaking him in when mums out.” 

Remus snorted. “I bet.” In reality, he thought he would find it incredibly stressful to have to sneak in someone past his parents. The summer of fourth year James had shown up unexpectedly at the Lupin’s small cottage when Remus was grounded. Remus still had stress dreams of his father coming home unexpectedly and finding James hidden under his bed. Still, he needed Dorcas to keep talking so tried to sound like it was something he would find exciting and not an added stress to his already anxiety-filled life as a young werewolf. “But – there has to be more to it than that, I mean for you to stay with him?”

“Well it’s not like we are always together.” Dorcas mused. “Like we break up a lot… five times over the last year. He called it off the last time, but I’ve dumped him a couple of times as well. I think he is winning though because he has called it off three times and I’ve only broken up with him twice.” She looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling of the carriage. “Plus he definitely broke up with me the last time…so yeah….he is winning. But then he owled me a week ago and said how sorry he was and invited me out for a picnic. We kissed, and now I guess we are back together.” 

“Dorc....” Remus understood immediately why the girls wanted to shake Dorcas. Still, they had trusted him to give her some good advice so he couldn’t let all his frustration show. Why? He still wasn’t sure. “I don’t want to immediately say you should break up with him, but you should break up with him. You are so smart, funny and amazing. You deserve to be with someone who, oh I don’t know, hasn’t dumped you three times and thinks its ok to just brush past it with a kiss and a picnic.” Dorcas sighed in frustrated and put her head in her hands. 

“It’s not like that” she whined. Remus was used to whining, having shared a dorm room with Sirius Black for the last few years, and knew exactly how to deal with it. 

“Okay” he said patiently. “How about you tell me about each break up?”

“Well the first time we had been together for three months. We had snogged a bit, but hadn’t done anything really, and then he decided we didn’t talk enough or have enough in common or some bollocks like that and called it off via owl.”

“Gutless bastard.”

“Oh he always does it via owl. I don’t really mind, probably less painful all round that way. Anyway, then we got back together a little while later. He’d said sorry and we were together for a little longer. Then….” Dorcas trailed off, looking lost in thought. She giggled to herself. “You know I genuinely don’t know why he dumped me that time. It was definitely him calling it off, but I really can’t remember why. The third time was certainly me. We had just gotten back together and then my Grandma died really suddenly and I just couldn’t deal with him and that you know?” 

Remus did know. His own Grandma had died just before he had begun at Hogwarts and the loss of someone who had cared for him, no matter his condition, had rocked his world. Never being particularly good with physical contact he awkwardly patted Dorcas on the knee, urging her to continue. 

“So then came make up and break up four, which was me again. Oh right, that was the one that happened over Easter break. Roly had invited me to go camping with him and his cousins. He wanted to show off to them that he had a girlfriend. But while we were there we got to talking and he mentioned that he didn’t think what we had was…you know….real.” She was starting to get upset now, gulping back tears before continuing. “He thought we were just making out, and not really together, and I’m not like that. So I just left the campsite. Ran off and stayed in a muggle hotel for a night. Um then the last time it was because he thought he wanted to try going out with someone else. One of his Ravenclaw friends. But that didn’t work and he said sorry and now here we are.” 

“Wow Dorc.” Remus started, trying to compose his thoughts, and not just scream – dump him, dump him now. “I mean do you really want to be with someone who keeps dumping you for stupid insensitive reasons? Like both times you ended it were for really good reasons, and it is so gutsy to just walk out and go to a muggle hotel for a night. And he just really keeps thinking all he has to do is apologise after being an arse and he gets to go back to being with someone as amazing as you?” 

Dorcas was beginning to really cry now. “You don’t get it.” She choked in between sobs. “He is my first love, if you don’t marry your first love you are a failure.” Remus was stunned. 

“Dorc, who told you that?” She shook her head, unable to speak. “Because you know it’s utter shite right?”

“I know” she said softly. “But I just wanted my own fairy tale.” 

“I get it, I do.” How often had wished for a fairy tale ending for his own lycanthropy. Meeting someone who would just magically cure him. “But does this feel like a fairy tale? It seems like a lot of drama, and not a lot of happily ever after. You should be kind to yourself, and let go of the idea of him as your first love. Focus instead of the arsehole he truly is.”

Dorcas snorted, and Remus smiled. “Thanks.” She said softly. “I think I’m ready to let him go.”

“Fuck, yes!” Marlene burst through the door, that she, Lily and Alice had clearly been listening through. “You should dump him spectacularly. Make up for all the shit he put you through.” 

“No.” Remus jumped in. “You should just send one line telling him it’s over, with no explanation. It will drive him mad trying to work out why.” 

Lily gasped. “That’s perfect Remus!” She turned to Marlene. “Didn’t I tell you he would be amazing?” The three girls settled back into the carriage, sharing treats gathered from the trolley. 

“Yes, not bad Lupin. I’m impressed.” Marlene replied, sucking on a gummy worm. Remus snorted. 

“So glad you approve, McKinnon.” 

“We saw your boys by the way. Looks like they are pretty bored without you. Black was asleep.” Remus wasn’t surprised. Sirius didn’t often sleep over the summer and needed to catch-up on the train ride back to Hogwarts. This led to a fun first week back every year when the other three Marauders had to drag Sirius out of bed to make sure he made it to class. 

“I’m sure they’ll live.” Remus watched as Alice settled Dorcas, and missed the glance Marlene shot Lily. 

“So…” Lily began “Remus…”

“Since you did such a fucking great job in helping out Dorcas” Marlene cut in. 

“Thanks, by the way” Dorcas chimed in from where she was still snuggled against Alice’s shoulder. 

“No problem” Remus replied, shooting her a smile. 

“Mmhmm” Lily shot them all her best prefect look. She really was born to be in charge. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Remus we have a proposition for you.”

“First time I’ve ever been propositioned” Remus counted. Marlene snorted. 

“You must have seen the drivel the Daily Prophet printed over the summer” Lily continued, pretending she hadn’t been interrupted. “It is just printing ignorant fluff, while serious stories go unreported. That doesn’t just impact muggleborns but ignorance infects all of the wizarding community.” Remus was impressed with Lily’s passion. He agreed of course but he normally chanelled his frustration at the Prophet’s awful reporting into snippy, sarcastic comments. “So, we are going to start our own student paper, that tells the real stories Hogwarts students should know about.” They were all grinning excitedly at him now. 

“We’ve thought about it all summer” Alice said “and we have come up with a half decent plan.” 

“But as much as we hate to admit it, you Marauders have some skills we just don’t have” Marlene smirked. “And that’s why we would like you on board.”

“Behind the scenes” Lily quickly jumped in “you wouldn’t be as publicly involved as the rest of us.” Remus was grateful. Lily, being as smart as she was, had worked out his ‘furry little secret’ in Third Year. She knew that Remus had to be careful and couldn’t get into too much trouble. She also knew that he was the brains behind most of the Marauder’s most successful pranks. So was happy to flirt with trouble, as long as he stayed in the background. 

“And that’s why we thought you would be our perfect Agony Aunt!” Marlene grinned. “Well that, and your advice is pretty solid.” 

“We thought we should have an Agony Aunt” Alice chimed in “because it will get us some extra readers. Especially amongst the younger students.” 

“So, you in?” Marlene asked. They were all looking at him expectantly now. Was he in? He thought it was a good idea, of course. The Prophet was a pile of garbage, and the girls would do a great job at reporting things that mattered. The Slytherins would hate it and there would be backlash, but he wasn’t afraid of that. He did sort of like the idea that he could offer good advice. He had given advice to Peter, but that hadn’t always turned out well. James normally ignored his advice, especially when it was about Lily, saying he preferred to ‘trust his gut’. And Sirius. Well Sirius had proven last year that he was incapable of taking any advice. What Remus liked best though was that he would have a secret from the other Marauders. Something that was just his. A secret within a secret. He had shared everything with them, something he never thought he would do. And then Sirius Black had taken that, and stomped all over it with his black Doc Martins. Remus had said he had forgiven him, and he had a little. But not fully, and he didn’t think he ever really could. He felt himself withdrawing and wanting to hide things from Sirius. Having something special that was his and not the rest of the Marauders felt like some sort of revenge. Sirius would be hurt when he eventually found out, but Remus wanted him to hurt. Not seriously hurt, but this petty hurt felt like it would be satisfying. It was this thought that made him want to be part of their paper. Not that he was going to admit that to Lily or the others. 

Remus nodded. 

“Fabulous!” Lily clapped in excitement “now we just have to come up with the perfect name.”


	2. The Conte Conspiracy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An election campaign begins, and a career in History of Magic ends.

_Dear Moaning Myrtle,_

_I love my friends I really do, but they all have more money than me and this makes it really awkward when we go out. They all come from old Pureblood money and don’t really get what it’s like to have to think about how much things cost at all. They never have to worry. With the next Hogsmeade weekend fast approaching I don’t know what I’m going to do. I want to go with them of course, but I will be so stressed the entire time calculating whether I can afford to go into Zonko’s with them or buy a butterbeer. I know they would shout me if I asked them, but I don’t want them to see me differently. And I certainly don’t want to be left behind. What should I do?_

_From Going Broke._

_Dear Going Broke,_

_I know how hard it is to be the one in your friendship group who doesn’t quite fit. I mean I’m the only one of my friends who is a ghost. My friends have always surprised me when I have been honest and always accepted me, though I know not everyone can be that lucky. But really if your friends judge you for not having as much money as them then they are not really worthy of being your friends. That is easy for me to say and so much harder for to hear (or read I guess…). It sounds like your friends are really great though, and there may be some creative suggestions you could make, that mean you can hang out without spending too much money. Like you could take a picnic to Hogsmeade (the House Elves in the kitchen put together glorious picnic baskets) or instead of buying gifts for birthdays you could always all try and make something for each other. This normally produces hilarious results – or even happy tears. Good luck!_

_Yours, Moaning Myrtle_

Sirius hated that he couldn’t sleep. It had been four weeks since he had come back to Hogwarts and every night he would lie awake until 2am. When he was younger, his cousin Andromeda had told him that 2am was when his body was closest to mimicking death. Here, at 2am in the Gryffindor dormitory that thought took hold, causing his chest to constrict tightly so it felt like his heart was bursting. He needed to distract himself. Muttering a quick _lumos_ he went back to reading the parchment that Peter had been so excited to show James after Transfiguration. Sirius had of course scoffed at Peter finding a student newspaper so exciting and then snatched it for himself. The magic in it felt familiar and comforting, but Sirius didn’t trust it. It was too close to the charms they had used in the Marauder’s Map, with the whole ‘looks like a blank sheet of parchment until you said the password’ thing. Sirius smirked to himself, it wasn’t as good as the map though. That magic had combined charms from all four of them, making it unique. He tapped the parchment and whispered ‘I’m a stunner’. Words slowly appeared across the page. He’d skimmed the articles earlier in the day. They hadn’t kept his interest. The letters section though spoke to him. It was a weird concept Sirius thought, to write about your feelings to a complete stranger. The advice was solid though, and strangely comforting. So Sirius read through the letters again and again until his eyes felt heavy, and his chest loosened a little.

The next morning found Sirius half asleep and draped across the Gryffindor table while breakfast went along around him in the Great Hall. Three hours just wasn’t enough sleep, and now he felt queasy. James and Peter were having a loud conversation about something. Sirius really wasn’t following in his sleep deprived state. Not for the first time he internally cursed himself for being friends with morning people. At least Remus wasn’t prattling on about, well, whatever Pete was going on about. Remus just sat quietly opposite him, reading a Potions textbook and sipping on his first cup of tea for the day. After last years’ prank, Sirius never thought he would get to see Remus in these quiet moments again. He then of course ruined the moment by knocking his juice all over James.

“Black you wanker!” James shot out of his chair trying to dry his lap with the tablecloth. Across the table Remus sighed, pulled out his wand and dried James off with a flick of his wrist.

“Sorry, didn’t sleep” Sirius mumbled.

“I swear if you were reading that same damn part of the Iliad again…” James was still grumbling even though he was now dry. Sirius glared at him. He didn’t need Remus to know that most nights since he’d royally stuffed up and told Snape about the Whomping Willow he had read the same scene in the Iliad over again when he couldn’t sleep. Sirius had always loved the Iliad but he had never really liked Achilles. He seemed like an arrogant entitled toad – and Sirius had enough of those in his family. Now though, he got Achilles. He understood what it was like to stuff up so badly that someone you truly loved got hurt. Sirius was just lucky that Remus wasn’t dead like Patroclus – or in Azkaban. That would have completely destroyed him. So, Sirius read the same passage over and over again.

“I was reading that paper Pete found if you must know.” Remus looked up at that.

“Hey! You said you were going to give that back!” Peter exclaimed through a full mouth of toast.

Sirius smirked “Oh Wormy, it’s like you don’t know me at all.”

“I don’t even know why you’re interested in it” said James grabbing another pancake. “It was so boring. We have to read enough boring stuff for class. I’m not going to read more of it in my spare time.”

“The letters aren’t bad” Sirius mumbled shoving some buttered toast into his mouth.

“Yeah but they would be so much better if they weren’t so girly” Peter cut in “like if they were actual real interesting problems like ours.”

James grinned at him “What problems have you got Petey?” Peter blushed red.

“Nah I just meant like get advice on our next prank and stuff…” he mumbled.

“Or you could use it to confess anonymously to your pranks, James. It might be nice to actually apologise to the Slytherins once in a while for wreaking havoc” Remus cut in. James looked delighted.

“Moony, you’re a genius! That would be so much better! A column where you confessed your deepest darkest secrets anonymously. Bloody brilliant.” Remus sipped his tea.

“I mean that’s pretty much what it is now but without the advice bit. So, what you really want is a place where you can anonymously own up to your pranks – which everyone knows is either you or Pads anyway – without any judgement?” Sirius smirked desperate to get Remus’s attention back on him.

“Moony, they are Marauder pranks. The whole school knows you are in on them too.” Remus gave Sirius his ‘polite’ smile. The same one he had been giving Sirius since he had mumbled that he would work towards forgiving him just before the holidays.

“But you could also confess to other stuff too” Peter continued excitedly. “Like say you had pushed your little brother into a cactus because he had poured ants into your ears…” Peter, for perhaps the first time in his life, had stumbled on an interesting to story to tell. Unfortunately though, he was interrupted by the sound of smashing glass coming from the Hufflepuff table. Looking across, Sirius saw the Head Boy, Henri Conte, surrounded by what looked like exploded salt and pepper shakers. He was holding a scrunched-up piece of parchment in his closed fist. In one swift motion, Henri threw the parchment into the air, sending sparks shooting up after it so it exploded. He then reached down, ripped the Head Boy’s badge off his chest, and exploded it in a similar fashion. Gasps escaped as the students closest to him tried to dodge falling pieces of gold. Henri wasn’t paying attention to them though. Instead, he was staring straight at the teacher’s table. He made direct eye contact with Dumbledore – and calmly stated “I’m done”. Henri Conte then turned and stalked out of the great hall.

There was silence.

Then as one, every student in Hogwarts followed him as he marched out of the school for the final time.

“Woah” said Peter “That was intense.”

“Yes, you’ve got to wonder what that was all about?” Remus chimed in as the teachers hurried to disperse the crowd and get the students to move to class.

“Well it’s clear he wasn’t the right choice for Head Boy. Better than Lockhart last year, but what was Dumbledore thinking picking a Hufflepuff?” James looked incensed at the very thought that the Head Boy wasn’t a Gryffindor, or at least a Ravenclaw. Sirius trailed behind his friends as they fought through the crowd to get to Transfiguration. Sirius knew Henri a little. Henri came from a prestigious Pureblood family that could trace its lineage back to Melusina of Luxembourg. He’d got to know him better over the last summer, when Sirius’s mother and Henri’s father had been in adjacent beds at St Mungo’s Hospital. Sirius had been pulled out of school just before the summer break started and sent urgently to the hospital. The other Marauder’s had been worried – he could see it in their faces. Before he had been escorted to the hospital, Remus had grabbed him and pulled him aside. He’d told Sirius that he forgave him, but Sirius didn’t believe it. He didn’t think Remus was lying, just that as always, Remus was too nice, and telling Sirius what Sirius wanted to hear. Sirius wanted Remus to mean it more than anything, but he didn’t think he did just yet.

Sirius’s summer had been spend hanging around the hospital. Walburga wasn’t particularly ill, she just had a mild case of Dragon Pox. Being a Black of course she couldn’t admit to having something so common, so the Black family had made sure a more suitable condition was given as the reason for her hospital stay. Walburga Black also couldn’t be placed on a ward anywhere near Half-bloods or Muggleborns, so some galleons changed hands, and she was given a room with only one other Pureblood patient, whose family was almost (but not quite) of the same standard as her own. Regulus had never had Dragon Pox, and Walburga would not let him come anywhere near her, in case he got the Pox as well. Sirius himself had gotten the Pox in his second year. At the time, Walburga went completely mad. Stormed into Dumbledore’s office demanding that her son be placed in Slytherin since he had obviously contracted a commoners’ disease from the undesirable students in Gryffindor. So Sirius was the son who had to visit the hospital every day. The only bright-side (apart from stealing delicious hospital food from the kitchens) was Henri Conte. Henri’s dad was far sicker than Walburga Black. They didn’t think he would ever fully recover. Henri needed someone to listen, and Sirius needed a distraction, so they bonded over a long summer.

Classes, as always, went by in a blur for Sirius. Soon enough he found himself back in the dormitory with the other Marauders, with James still whining about Dumbledore’s choice of Head Boy.

“I mean why not pick Kingsley. First, he is a Gryffindor…” Remus cuts him off.

“James. They can’t pick a Gryffindor every year.”

“Okay but Kingsley is also a Quidditch keeper. A keeper! Half their job is yelling instructions to other players. Plus, everyone knows Quidditch makes you a leader.”

“That is certainly arguable” Remus mumbled keeping his attention on his Potions book.

“Well Henri is shagging a Quidditch player” Sirius chimes in “that’s gotta show some leadership.” James rolled his eyes at him.

“That just shows good taste” he says puffing out his chest ridiculously. Sirius snorts. Peter however, is now interested bouncing a little as he rolls over on his bed. Quidditch might interest him, but Peter was definitely more into gossip.

“So, who was he with? Can’t be someone from Gryffindor we’d know them.”

“No Pete” Sirius scoffed “not a school Quidditch player. A real Quidditch player.”

“Hey!” James exclaimed, shoving Sirius in the shoulder.

“Remembering of course Padfoot that you are also a school Quidditch player” Remus contributed, not taking his eyes from his text book.

“Yeah but we don’t get paid for playing do we? Henri is shagging a real player from a real league. He plays for the Nantes Nifflers.”

“Wait he” Peter said slowly “But there aren’t any gay Pro Quidditch players.” That remark actually got Remus to shut his Potions text book. He looked at Peter, who was now chewing on his nails, with distain.

“Of course there are gay Quidditch players Pete. They just don’t feel comfortable coming out publicly. And I really don’t blame them. You hear what some students shout at Sirius when he’s playing.” James jumped in before Peter could put his foot in it further.

“Which player then Black?”

“I can’t out him Prongs, but you would certainly he impressed with his skill. And he is smoking hot.”

James shoved his shoulder “As if you even know.”

“Of course I do you wanker.” Sirius smirked shoving him back until James was left right on the edge of his bed “I know that he calls Conte ‘honey’ and everything.” Sirius had teased Henri about that over the summer. Even though he was a little jealous. “Henri’s dad was in the hospital with old Wally over the summer, so we saw each other all day every day until the nurses finally got sick of treating Walburga Black.” He had tried to keep his tone as light as possible but it had turned bitter. He could feel James looking at him expectedly, and Remus finally looking up from his book. Remus kept his expression neutral. “Anyway, point is I get what Dumbledore saw in Henri when he picked him to be Head Boy, you know? His dad was so sick, and he was so good at looking after him without like completely losing his mind.”

“How long were you at the hospital? I thought your mum would just be out in a couple of days?” Remus asked. Sirius shrugged.

“You know Wally, she is nothing but dramatic. Think she was in there for two months, and her highness decreed that I needed to be present every single day.” Sirius was trying to joke but he could see it wasn’t deterring Remus from asking more questions.

“Just you?”

“Yeah, you know little Reggie is too precious to be exposed to anything as dangerous as a hospital.”

“That’s tough.” Sirius was delighted that Remus was talking to him, but really wished it was on a different subject. One where he didn’t feel Remus could so easily read his emotions.

“You know what Prongs?” he said shoving James lightly to get his attention. “Maybe Dumbledore will let you pick the next Head Boy, seeing as you care so much about it.” He had just been mucking around, but James seemed to take the idea seriously.

“I think he would certainly appreciate my feedback” James said putting on his poshest voice.

“That isn’t so crazy an idea” Remus cut in. “It is quite usual in muggle schools for students to vote on who they want as their leaders.”

“That would be awesome Moony! We’d actually get who we want, rather than that arrogant prick Lockhart from last year.” James was really taken by the idea. “Plus, I could run. Imagine that! Me as Head Boy next to Lily Evans as Head Girl!”

“Well you’d actually have to convince people to vote for you” Remus said sensibly. “We know all of Slytherin won’t, so I really don’t like your chances.”

“He is the most popular guy in school though” Peter cut in. Sirius rolled his eyes. Peter could be such a suck up when it came to James.

“Plus, you still have to convince Dumbledore and the teachers that student elections are a good idea” Remus reminded him.

“Not a problem.” James said confidently, leaping off his bed and making his way to the door. “I’ll just bring it up with him over dinner.” With that, the other Marauder’s followed him down to the Great Hall.

“When he said he was going to bring it up with Dumbledore, I didn’t think he meant shout it at him over dinner” Remus groaned. James had just yelled his suggestion at the Headmaster during a speech about Conte’s departure.

“Moony, it’s Prongs. You really think he was going to make an appointment” Sirius quipped back. Remus smiled at him ruefully. On the dais Dumbledore looked thoughtful.

“Mr Potter you may have a point.” He clapped his hands together. “Alright, I declare we give Mr Potter’s idea a go. We will arrange elections to be held just before Valentine’s Day to elect next years’ Head Boy and Head Girl. Any student currently in sixth year may put themselves forward and the school will decide.” Sirius expected the other students to be more excited. While murmurings went round the hall, it was only James who looked truly triumphant.

“Excellent” he hissed to the others “well I’m definitely nominating. You should too Lupin.” Remus just shot him his ‘Dumbledore is still talking look’ and didn’t reply.

“I’ll vote for you Prongs” whispered Peter.

“Thanks Wormy” James whispered back as Dumbledore wrapped up his announcement, detailing that for the rest of the year the Head Girl, Ember Eddison from Ravenclaw, would take the student leadership role solo. Sirius really hoped Remus would end up running. As much as they teased, he was a really good Prefect and had seemed so much more confident since taking up the role. Sure, it made Sirius sad that his Prefect duties meant that they got to spend less time together, but he had managed to convince himself that was a good thing. Sirius knew he was a lot to take all at once, and that if they spent too much time together Moony would eventually get sick of him. Dessert appeared as James continued to plan his campaign.

“Okay so Wormy is in charge of organising all the flyers and banners and stuff…” he trailed off writing down notes on a scrap of parchment, then looked-up smiling widely. “This is going to get Evans to take me seriously for sure!”

That night, Sirius was staring at his curtains, trying to force himself to fall asleep. He heard his curtains rustle, and felt a warm body slip in behind him.

“Thought I’d try and help you sleep mate. You’re much less of a wanker when you’re not cranky.” Sirius felt James’s back push up against his own. Back in second year, Sirius had told James that he and Regulus used to sleep back to back when they were little. Their father, Orion, had taught Sirius and Regulus to always be on their guard, even when they were sleeping. The boys were encouraged to sleep with their back pressed towards a wall, protecting them from being attacked from behind in their sleep. As they got older, Orion would randomly test them on their preparedness by getting Kreacher to mount attacks while they slept. Regulus and Sirius got into the habit of sleeping back to back in one bed, so they could keep an eye out for sneak attacks from two directions at once. The random attacks had decreased as they got older, but both brothers always felt better sleeping with their backs together. James Potter had always wanted a sibling, so after James had failed to make the Quidditch team in second year, Sirius had crawled into his bed and taught him how to sleep like a brother. James was always slightly jealous of Sirius having Regulus.

“Thanks for telling us about Wally” mumbled James as he settled in “I know how hard it is for you to talk about your family stuff.” Sirius sighed sinking into James’s warmth as they faced opposite directions.

“I just don’t want to relive that shite” Sirius whispered back. It was a little true, but more importantly he didn’t want Prongs or Moony to see him any differently. He didn’t want to be the person he was when he was with his family.

“Yeah but don’t you feel a little bit better after talking about it?”

“Mmm a little.” Silence stretched between them and Sirius thought James might be asleep, when he started whispering again.

“I don’t want to be Head Boy just because of Lily you know. I actually think I’d be really good at it.”

“I know Prongs. I think you’d be really good as well.”

“Ta little brother. That means a lot. And I wasn’t having a go at Conte. He isn’t a bad guy. I’ve spent half the bloody day wondering why it annoyed me so much that he was Head Boy, and I think there are just so many things that I thought I could do better.” Silence fell between them again, stretching on until Sirius decided to break it.

“You know, he did everything right. Henri. His family are full on old Pureblood. Not as crazy as mine, not even close, but still insanely worried about shite like their family name and the family reputation. And he was like…. the perfect son. Head Boy, good grades…. And it still wasn’t enough…His dad was so tough on him. And I guess it just kinda hit that it doesn’t matter what I do it’s never going to be enough for them….” He trailed off, thinking that James was probably asleep and he was just venting to himself. Then he felt a slight squeeze as James’s fingers wrapped around his wrist.

“You know you’ll always be enough for the Marauders right mate? Even if you can be an idiotic prat.” Sirius didn’t reply, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

He woke with a start a couple of hours later. His brain had apparently decided to hit overdrive while he was sleeping, with images of blood dancing in front of his eyes. His chest was too tight and he felt like his wrists were being gripped by talons, even though nothing was touching them. James was still sleeping beside him, their backs loosely touching. Suddenly he didn’t feel close enough. Sirius needed to grab onto something, to stop his treacherous mind from drifting. He slowly rolled over so that he could wrap his arms around James, pulling him as close as he could. James was going to make fun of him in the morning but he didn’t care right now. Surprisingly, James stirred slightly in his arms, then rolled over so they were facing each other. He wrapped his arms around Sirius, pulling him close into his chest.

“Mmm” James mumbled sleepily “this is better. This is how brothers should sleep.”

Sirius woke up late, feeling heavy from actually sleeping well for the first time in weeks. James was gone from his bed but had transfigured his pillow into the rough shape of a person with long arms. He’d wrapped the long arms of the pillow person around Sirius. Sirius smiled to himself allowing himself to appreciate the gift from his chosen brother. He couldn’t hear any rustling, so he guessed the others had headed down to breakfast and then off to Potions. Sirius dozed for a while before dressing and heading to his History of Magic class. It always took Sirius a while to get dressed. Looking the perfect type of disheveled took time. It surprised his friends that Sirius had chosen History of Magic. Today they were doing the legacy of Pureblood traditions from the 1800s and how they continued to influence wizarding society today, which honestly just made Sirius want to gouge out his own eyes. Professor Binns waffled on, basically delivering the same monologue on how integral pureblood values have been in shaping the wizarding world that Sirius’s dear mother had given him every day during her hospital stay. Sirius was half listening when Professor Binns actually said something that interested him.

“Family lore was codified during the 1800s, and is still followed strictly in Pureblood families to this day. Family lore details the need of the heir to marry a suitable candidate selected by the matriarch, and outlines inheritance customs. The heir or the eldest son, should the father become die or become severely incapacitated must take over the family finances and businesses and cannot make any change to the direction of the family for a reasonable period of time. The heir can be as young as eleven years old when named as head of the family.”

“Oh shite!” Sirius exclaimed. “So that’s why Conte had a breakdown and buggered off!” It took a lot to break Professor Binns’ from his monotonous drone, but Sirius had managed it.

“Mr Black, ten points from Gryffindor for interrupting my class with mindless gossip.”

“But it’s not! Henri is being forced to take over his family’s business and work without any pay, which is slavery! He will be forced to marry someone he doesn’t even like and he won’t even get to finish school!” Sirius saw it now. Henri must have received word yesterday that his father had been judged too incapacitated to remain as head of the family. He would have to return to Belgium to take over the Conte family business, breeding a range of herbs that were exported for Potions worldwide. He wouldn’t get to finish at Hogwarts. He wouldn’t get to become a dancer like he wanted. Sirius had convinced him to dance a little, and Henri was brilliant at it. He could even pull off great moved in heels. It just wasn’t fair, Sirius thought. Henri should be allowed to finish schooling and choose his future, not conform to some piss developed in the 1800s.

“The school has to do something about it!” For perhaps the first time ever, the entire class were paying attention now.”

“Mr Black be quiet. The wizarding traditions are very clear. The child is the property of the family they are born into, and if that family expects them to work and expects them to act in accordance with the family’s values then they have every right to force the child to behave in a manner they see fit.”

“But that’s insane! You can’t own another person. You can’t own a child!”

“Yes Mr Black you can! And maybe if your family took greater ownership over you, then you wouldn’t find yourself being such a nuisance. Now get out of my classroom and report to Professor McGonagall. I’m sure she will be able to come up with some suitable punishment for your egregious behaviour.”

Sirius pushed back his chair, toppling it over. “Get stuffed you old Ghoul” he hissed at Professor Binns as he grabbed his things and left the History of Magic classroom for the last time. He was still fuming at the injustice of Henri being forced out of school, and forced into a life he didn’t want. The adults didn’t seem to care. Sirius did.

Sirius slammed McGonagall’s office door behind him and stomped his way across to her desk.

“I’m never going back to that class” Sirius grits out as he stands in front of the Professor. Minerva McGonagall appears completely unperturbed by his tantrum.

“Black. Sit down and calm down.” Sirius surprised them both by doing just that. The adrenalin from his earlier encounter with Binns was wearing off.

“I’ve had a note from Professor Binns, Black. He hasn’t thrown a student out of his class in living memory but of course it was you who broke that streak.” She kept her voice even. That kept Sirius’s attention. He was used to Walburga screaming at him like a banshee and could easily block that out. Minnie’s tone made him listen. Made him want to listen.

“Now no one is going to make you go back to History of Magic. But, what I don’t understand Black, is why you took that class in the first place. Why not Potions? You want to be a healer, do you not? And your O.W.L marks were certainly high enough for Professor Slughorn?” Sirius didn’t know he was going to be honest with her until he heard the words falling out of his own mouth.

“I didn’t want to be in the same class as Snape… and um Remus together. It’s all too much seeing them at the same time after…”

“After you did something truly thoughtless and dangerous, that almost killed a student last year” Professor McGonagall finished for him. “It will help you come to terms with the guilt you feel Black if you start saying it out loud.”

“After I almost killed Snape and almost destroyed my best friends’ life.” Sirius says in a small voice. McGonagall nodded.

“As you know Sirius, part of the reason you weren’t expelled was because myself and Professor Dumbledore wanted you to take responsibility for your actions, and not just give you an opportunity to run away from what you had done. So I suggest you try to convince Professor Slughorn to take you into his Potions class. It will be uncomfortable for you to see Mr Lupin and Mr Snape at the same time in that class, I’m sure…” but that is no more than I deserve, Sirius added in his head. “If you get Professor Slughorn to sign a letter allowing you into his class, you will never have to return to History of Magic.” Sirius nodded. That he could do. “But, Mr Black, we need to work on that temper of yours. It keeps getting you into trouble. Your magic will only be effective if you can develop control. So I am reassigning one of your nightly detentions into a session with myself to help you develop strategies to manage your anger.” Sirius nodded. It’s not like he had a lot of choice. Since he sent Snape down the Whomping Willow tunnel he had been given detention every week night for the rest of his time at Hogwarts. His detentions were determined by the needs of the teachers, and mostly involved tutoring younger students which Sirius had found he quite liked. Occasionally Professor Slughorn let him mark his students’ essays. Having to work through his anger with McGonagall clearly wasn’t Sirius’s first pick of activity, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing.

“Thank-you. I’ll get the letter signed Professor.”

“Make sure you do Black, and I’ll see you Thursday nights’ to talk about your anger.” Sirius nodded again and headed out into the corridor. He heard McGonagall sigh as he left. Talking to Sirius about his emotions was probably not her idea of a fun Thursday night. But then, Sirius had no idea what Minnie did for fun. He ran through options in his head as he strode down to Slughorn’s office. He wasn’t particularly worried about getting Slughorn to sign the letter. He was the Black Heir, and Slughorn could easily be swayed by the right last name. He knocked on Slughorn’s classroom door, and found the Potions master at the end of a lesson with his third years. The Slytherins were present, so Sirius had to file past his brother Regulus to reach Slughorn’s desk.

“Ahh the older Mister Black. What can I do for you my boy?”

“Um Professor, I was hoping I could switch into your N.E.W.T level potions class for sixth years? Professor McGonagall just needs you to sign a letter to approve.”

“Of course my boy! I did wonder why you weren’t in my class already. You have quite a talent for Potions. Runs in your family as I have taught so many of your cousins before you.” It was a mark of how much Sirius did not want to remain in History of Magic that he didn’t roll his eyes. Instead he turned on his charm.

“Thank-you so much Professor. Could I get a quick note to that effect for Professor McGonagall?”

“Certainly. As a matter of fact I’m having a small get together tonight in my quarters with Lucius Malfoy, and a lovely former student of mine Celeste Circe. She’s working as a photographer at the Daily Prophet, quite the talent. I think she would enjoy dining with the Malfoy Heir and the Black Heir, and you can collect your letter then.” The wily old goat, Sirius thought. He’d rather stab himself in the foot than go to dinner with Lucius Malfoy, and be photographed while he did it, but he really needed that letter.

“Sounds perfect Sir.”

Slughorn grinned “Excellent my boy. I’ll see you at 8 in my rooms. Make sure you wear your best robes. We want to look good in case a little photograph finds its way into the papers.” Sirius nodded and made his way from the classroom, determined not to make eye contact with his brother. He was certain this news was going to make his way back to his parents. Damn, Walburga Black was actually going to slightly approve of something he was doing. 

Marlene McKinnon was the only one in the Gryffindor common room when Sirius returned from Slughorn’s painful little get together. He really didn’t feel like wanting to talk to anyone, but Marlene turned to him from the lounge chair closest to the fire.

“Black – brilliant work in History of Magic today.”

Sirius snorted “Yes certainly outdid my previously high standard of dramatic exits. Minnie didn’t think that Binns had ever thrown a student out of his class before. Think she was secretly quite impressed really.”

“More impressed he actually got your name right. Swear he hasn’t got my name right ever.”

“You forget McKinnon, my family is bloody inescapable. He has probably had a Black every year of his endless teaching career.” He flopped down onto the couch beside Marlene, she turned and smirked at him.

“You’ve actually got an interesting brain Black” he snorted.

“Gee, well thanks McKinnon” she laughed.

“You know what I mean. You think about things differently, and as annoying as your stunts can be sometimes, they are never boring.” She shifted bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging them. “What did you think of Conspire?” Sirius looked at her quizzically. “Oh bloody hell Black, you know the student paper that was floating around last week. I know I gave a copy to Pettigrew so I assume you saw it?”

“Oh yeah that…um well the letters were good. Didn’t really read the rest of it” he shrugged. Marlene’s face fell, and she hugged her knees tighter.

“Yep I don’t think anyone really did, and Lily and I worked so hard on those bits.”

“Aren’t you meant to be anonymous or whatever?” Sirius asked.

“Screw that! We don’t need to be anonymous if no one is even reading it. We had some really good points that the Daily Prophet would never print, and no one read it because it was too boring. That’s why we need someone like you. Someone who is like from a real Pureblood family, to help us understand like the whole Pureblood deal. Like all anyone is going to be talking about is Henri Conte quitting as Head Boy and you get why. We can use your weird brain to actually get people to read our stuff.” Sirius looked at McKinnon. She was still hunched in on herself, but her eyes were lit up. She clearly really cared about her paper. Sirius really didn’t know what she thought he could do, but screw it, if he could help he would.

“McKinnon. I’d be happy to be your tame Pureblood.” She beamed at him.

“This will be a really good for you too Black, you’ll see.”


	3. Carpet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius becomes a conspirator, and James plans his election campaign.

_Dear Moaning Myrtle,_

_I love my boyfriend. We have been dating for almost nine months. But I also love my former boyfriend, who tragically drowned in a pond two years ago. He is now a ghost and hangs out at my Uncles' property where I spend the summers. I still have feelings for him. We had long talks over the summer. During our times together I shared every little thought I had with him. It was wonderful. My current boyfriend is great but sometimes gets a little jealous. Am I living in the past? How can I convince my current boyfriend that I love both him, and my former boyfriend equally?_

_Yours, Ghost Writer_

_Dear Ghost Writer,_

_I just want to acknowledge the grief you must be feeling at losing someone you love so much. I don’t think you are living in the past; just loving two people at once. I think you need to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, and see if he can accept you where you are at right now. If he can’t understand how you feel, I’d take some time for yourself. Work through your grief. Then see how you feel._

_Moaning Myrtle_

Remus finished replying to his final letter for the week, handing the bunch to Dorcas to edit. He honestly didn’t know if what he was writing was helpful or not and he’d certainly underestimated how complex the problems of his fellow Hogwarts students had been. The first week, he and Lily had written the letters themselves. It was great, they had gotten slightly tipsy on firewhiskey, eaten their respective body weights in dark chocolate, and projected like hell onto the fake letters. Since then, the letters section had taken off like Fiendfyre. Myrtle had enthusiastically agreed to be involved, and her bathroom was the perfect place to meet. The added bonus being that James and Sirius had been banned from this particular bathroom since the incident in second year that had seen Black Lake turned a peculiar shade of maroon. Making the lake look like a gigantic pool of blood may have been an epic Halloween prank, but the Merpeople had been less than impressed.

The letter system was working well. It was odd. Few people ever came to talk to Moaning Myrtle, but they were happy to write their most personal thoughts and feelings down and send them through the Hogwarts sinks to her. Or at least a teenage Werewolf pretending to be her. For her part, Myrtle kept their secret. She enjoyed the gossip she could piece together from reading the letters with them. Remus also felt a little like he was genuinely helping his fellow students. It was also a good distraction from all the tension around him. Notwithstanding the growing signs of war outside of the castle, Remus was surrounded by squabbling teenagers. James had been cold towards Sirius for the past couple of days after an unfortunate incident at Quidditch practice, which saw the Potter family owl killed by a rogue bludger. Well less of a rogue bludger, more one that Sirius had hit to see if he could make his bludger go higher than the one Beater, Gaia Thomas had hit. James knew it was an accident, but still muttered that if Sirius hadn’t been dicking around at training then accidents wouldn’t happen.

Worse though, was the fight between Lily and Marlene. Turns out, McKinnon inviting Sirius to join _Conspire_ without asking any of others was a sore point for Evans. Lily did not trust Sirius at all after last year, and was overprotective of Remus. Marlene, who of course did not know anything about Snape or willows or Werewolves, saw Sirius only as good for publicity. In the Gryffindor common room, Remus was surrounded by the same discussion that had been going on for the past week. 

“We need him Lily!”

“We absolutely do not Marls. It was our idea to start this paper and since when have you needed a man for anything.” 

“I don’t need a man” Marlene scoffed “I need someone who can make the other cretins in this school actually pay attention to the shit we write, because I don’t know if you noticed Lily, but we worked our arses off on those articles and no one actually read them.” Lily’s green eyes narrowed.

“People read them” Lily gritted out.

“Sure, maybe they read them, but they were bored to death Lils. If we want to make a difference, we need to make people pay attention and give them something to talk about. You can’t deny Black always gets the spotlight.”

“For all the wrong reasons” Lily yelled. “We want people to take us seriously. Black will turn us into a joke.”

“Or more likely get all the Slytherins to hate us” added Dorcas. Marlene turned to glare at Dorcas, who just shrugged “You should have asked us first Marls. It was our thing, not just yours to share.”

“It’s not like he’ll actually be writing anything” Marlene counted. “He’s just like a consultant on Pureblood stuff. He knows stuff we don’t Lils.”

“Alice is Pureblood!” Lily pointed out.

“Not like him” Alice replied from her place beside the fire. “My family aren’t into that whole culture. Plus, he knows around the castle and isn’t afraid of getting into trouble.” Remus wanted to point out that he knew Hogwarts just as well as Sirius, but truth be told he quite liked being thought of as the sensible Marauder. It helped him fly under the radar.

“Well looks like it is two votes all” Dorcas reasoned. “Up to Remus I’d say.”

“Mmm yes” Marlene smirked “Why didn’t we ask dear Moaning Myrtle for advice in the first place? You’re the decider Lupin.” All four girls turned to him. Remus really didn’t want to let Lily down. She was one of his closest friends after all, but he knew Sirius could be really useful. Sirius had helped Marlene write the article on Henri and that had been their greatest success. Well apart from his own section. If Lily really wanted to make a difference, they needed the students to actually read the damn thing. It may not have been Remus’s idea to start with but with the threat of war looming outside of Hogwarts’ walls he could really see the value in having a paper that actually reported on what mattered to the students. The Prophet was bloody useless. Since they had come back at school Remus had heard of no fewer than five students who knew someone who had disappeared mysteriously. None of that had been reported in the Daily Prophet. When an entire Muggle village had simply disappeared overnight, the Prophet had chosen to run a front page dedicated to a young Quidditch star, Ebony Hardcastle, who had apparently beaten the record for most keeping saves in a season. It seemed to Remus that the Death Eater recruits were getting younger and younger. He supposed their mysterious leader was deliberately targeting teenagers. Those who were disillusioned, young, angry, bored. Who knew what they were looking for? Who knew what it took to turn someone to their side? Remus wasn’t certain but he knew the misinformation spreading through the Wizarding world wasn’t helping. If they could just make this paper a success then maybe they would be able to dissuade some future Death Eaters from joining up. Or at least get them to question a little bit what they were being told.

“I think” he started slowly “that as Sirius already knows who is behind the paper, that we won’t be able to keep him away now anyway.”

“Oh God you’re right” Lily muttered.

“I also think he could be really helpful, if we handle him right.” The girls looked surprised at that. “What?” Remus added “I’ve been his friend since first year, I know what a nightmare he can be. I don’t think we should tell him everything. Just give him little missions to help out.”

“Agreed” Marlene said quickly. “For instance, I don’t think we should tell him Lupin is Moaning Myrtle. Try and drive him mad working out which one of us is behind it.”

Dorcas nodded “So what should we tell him Remus does then?”

“That I’m distribution” Remus said. “He’ll know I’m behind some of the charms anyway.” He hadn’t told the others about the map. They had been so impressed with his suggestions on how to get the paper out there, and the gimmick of the password. Lily still looked unconvinced, but with Dorcas now in agreement it appeared settled.

“So we good?” Marlene asked. Dorcas, Remus and Alice nodded. They all turned to Lily.

“Fine” she said shortly, flicking her long red hair over her shoulder. “But he's on a trial basis. He creates drama, he’s out.” Remus privately thought that ‘no drama’ was an impossible standard for Sirius Black to live up to, but Marlene was already on her feet. 

“Agreed. I’ll go get Black” Marlene turned and went up the stairs to the boys’ dormitory.

Lily used the distraction to turn discreetly to Remus.

“Are you really ok with this?”

“Yes” Remus replied in a hushed tone.

“But” Lily continued “do you trust him?” Remus didn’t meet her gaze as he replied. It was silly but he didn’t want Lily to be able to see him too clearly.

“I’m ok with it” he repeated, hoping that she didn’t notice that he hadn’t answered her question. Luckily a scream from upstairs managed to provide a distraction.

“Pettigrew!” Marlene yelled “For Merlin’s sake – why are you not wearing any pants!” She came back down into the common room. “Well, I’m now scarred for life!”

At that moment, the portrait swung open and Sirius came into the common room.

“Black!” Where have you been? I just saw a pantless Pettigrew and it is all your fault!”

Sirius sniggered “Oh my dear Marlene, that is indeed a fate worse than death.”

“Why is Peter naked and alone in our room?” Remus mused.

“Oh, he wasn’t completely naked, he was wearing a black silk robe that was hanging open – and somehow that was even worse!” Marlene whined “Lupin! Why are you making me remember it?”

“Aha!” Sirius yelled “I knew he was secretly wearing Reggie’s robe! I’ve got to go get a picture of this!” He went to run up with stairs but Lily grabbed his arm as he tried to pass, yanking him back.

“No Black! We are starting this bloody meeting!” Still with a hand on Sirius she half dragged him into the far corner of the common room. The others followed, with Remus setting up charms so they couldn’t be overheard. Their cover, if anyone asked, was that they were an extension Charms study group – a subject they luckily all took.

“Ok first Black you are not to interrupt this meeting in any way. We will give you certain little missions when we need you, but apart from that you do not talk. Got it?” Lily could be terrifying when she was angry. Maybe that’s why Sirius just smirked and gave a lazy salute as way of reply.

“So there are a couple of stories we still have in development. The first being Dumbledore letting us hold elections for Head Boy and Head Girl for next year” Lily began.

“I mean it is clearly going to degrade into a glorified popularity contest” Dorcus cut in, taking notes as she did so.

“Yeah” Marlene began “But it is an interesting step given that elections aren’t exactly common in the Wizarding world.”

“Mmm agreed” Lily added. “I’ll keep working on that one.” Marlene looked a little disgruntled, but didn’t say anything. “What else have we got?”

“Well with the Quidditch season starting next week, I finally get to write something” Alice chuckled. “I have some great ideas.” They kept brainstorming for the next hour, throwing out ideas but not really settling on any. Sirius was quiet until they started packing up. 

“So, what is my mission then?” Sirius looked properly put out at being ignored for the whole of the meeting. Lily turned to him smiling sweetly.

“Oh, you can help Alice write her Quidditch preview session by keeping Potter under control while she is interviewing him. He does seem to ramble on a lot.” And with that the meeting was over. Sirius pouted. Alice patted his arm consolingly, before they headed off to bed.

Remus didn’t sleep well that night. His mind wouldn’t settle, and loneliness was seeping in. There were nights like these when he spent far too much time thinking, and far too little sleeping. Anxiety was sitting tightly in his chest. He was replaying his reply to his last letter over and over again in his mind; overanalysing. He just couldn’t imagine opening up to someone so fully as the letter writer had. Having that kind of easy intimacy. At home he had sometimes caught his reflection in the window while doing his chores the Muggle way (his mother insisted) and wondered what it would be like sharing his life with someone. He just couldn’t imagine being in a place where he would just casually share his thoughts with someone while doing the washing up, instead of just getting lost in them. Not that his thoughts were particularly exciting, but sharing all of them with someone else made his stomach churn. The closest he had come was with the Marauders, and with Sirius in particular, but he still hadn’t shared everything. Not his random ramblings on theories on books he was reading. Not hypothetical conversations he makes up and plays over again. The others would just think he was weird if he shared all of that. Remus didn’t think he would ever get to a point where he could share all his thoughts. In the dark he sighed to himself. And again tried to make peace with the idea that he was unlikely ever to fully share all of himself with another.

He woke to James Potter slamming the bathroom door, a sure-fire way to get his fellow roommates out of bed. Remus could hear Sirius groaning in frustration somewhere to his left.

“Right lads” James boomed using his Quidditch captains’ voice. “It’s Saturday. No classes. No training. A perfect day to start working on my Head Boy campaign.” He was met by groans and had to duck a flying pillow. “Come on. You want me to win right? Just think how good it would be to have a Marauder as Head Boy. How much legitimate mischief we could make!”

“I vote for Moony” Sirius huffed and tried to roll over. James pounced on him, trying to wrestle him out of his bed.

“Moony would be bloody brilliant at it” James said, throwing Remus a look. Remus rolled his eyes in response. James continued “but for some bullshit reason he isn’t interested. So Black you need to help me instead.”

“Fine” Sirius groaned. “But I need coffee.” James punched the air triumphantly and moved on to getting Pettigrew out of bed. Remus caught Sirius’s eyes and smiled. It strangely meant a lot that Sirius would think he would make a good Head boy. Even though Remus was a prefect he had no interest in actually being Head Boy. It wasn’t the duties, he was sure he could manage them. It was the visibility. That much time in the spotlight and people might notice certain traits or ask too many questions. Both Sirius and James thought it was silly, but respected his decision. Or he hoped they did. He half expected to see his name entered by one of them anyway, but fingers crossed that didn’t happen. Eventually, the Marauder’s found themselves seated at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. The upside of their lateness was that most students had finished breakfast, giving them space to spread out. Only one teacher remained at the head table, Professor Tarquin who taught Defence Against the Dark Arts. Remus loved Defence, and was really quite good at it, but Tarquin was not his favourite teacher. He seemed to love the Dark Arts just a little too much. The way he described them in class was chilling. James took advantage of the space left at the table, and spread out large pieces of parchment. Remus suspected that most of the plan was going to get covered in bacon grease and jam.

“Brainstorming session!” James boomed. “Moony, did you hit up your mum for the super-secret information?” 

“Yes” Remus rolled his eyes “Mum says hi by the way.”

“Hi Hope!” Sirius sleepily replied, slumped across the table.

“So mum said that most of the school captains at her school win the student elections by being the only student who nominates” Sirius snorted. “Occasionally though, one wins by promising better food for the canteen, like hamburgers and milkshakes every day. But” Remus gestured around him “that really won’t work at Hogwarts.”

“Wait at Muggle schools they don’t get to eat what they want?” Peter chimed in.

“No Peter they eat what the canteen cooks that day.”

“Poor buggers” Peter muttered. Remus shook his head, astounded as always at how little his friends knew about Muggles. James didn’t look the least bit perturbed by Remus’s lack of helpful information.

“Well I might be the only candidate, but we still have to run the best campaign this school has ever seen.”

“As it is the only campaign the school has ever seen I wouldn’t have thought that should be too hard.” Remus snarked back, but nothing could dampen James’s enthusiasm.

“First, I think we should charm huge banners with my face to float across the entrance hall. Pads, you have that permanent sticking charm down right?” Sirius, still half asleep, saluted in response.

“I don’t know Prongs, I think the teachers might be pretty mad…” Peter tried. James, just wanting to hear a yes turned to Remus instead. Remus shrugged in response.

“If the look you are going for is Eastern European Dictator than sure.” James scowled.

“Well then, how about charmed badges that remind all the students to vote for Potter? We could get the House-elves to sew them into people’s uniforms and they could sing a jingle to them every day until the vote.”

“Prongs. You can’t annoy people into voting for you. Being obnoxious hasn’t worked with Lily for five years, and it won’t work on the others either.” Remus knew he was being a little harsh, but really he was doing the school a favour from the torture of listening to singing badges for months on end. One thing that could be said for James Potter though, he rarely gave up, facing each knock with exhausting enthusiasm.

“Ok you’ll love the next one, charmed fireworks that…”

“No. Just no.”

“Oh come on Moony.”

“Look Prongs. I think you need to come up with ideas for why students should vote for you, and what you would do if you were Head Boy. You don’t need to get your name out there. There isn’t a student at the school who doesn’t know who James Potter or Sirius Black are…”

“It’s true” Sirius chimed in, flicking his long black hair over his shoulder.

“What they don’t know” Remus continued “is why they should vote for you. You need to show them what you have shown us and your Quidditch team. That you listen. That you care, and that you can bring people together.” All the other Marauders were looking at him now, but Remus didn’t regret being that honest or blunt. James could be a great Head Boy, but sometimes his best qualities were hidden by his arrogance. James sighed.

“Ok oh sensible Moony, I’ll do my homework like a good little future Head Boy and think about why I’d be good for the job. But at some point there will be banners, and they will have a slogan so grand that even the Slytherins will vote for me.”

Remus’s new habit of bold truth telling also made an appearance at the next Conspire meeting later that afternoon. The Conspirators, the name they had adopted, were meeting in the Room of Requirement. Remus had already, gently, redirected a couple of ideas from Marlene and Dorcas. Sirius was being uncharacteristically quiet throughout. Lily, however, was in her element.

“What we need to do is highlight the ways that the Death Eaters convince students to join.”

“Brainwashing?”

“Shut-up Black. No some of it has to be because they feel pressured into it. Like they are being disloyal to the idealised way of being a ‘Wizard’ if they don’t join up.”

“Or disloyal to their families” Alice chimed in thoughtfully.

“That would make a great article” Lily gushed. “If we could get someone to talk about that experience of your family encouraging you to join the Death Eaters.” Remus watched as Sirius went completely still. Marlene noticed as well and jumped in, effectively creating a distraction.

“It’s not just people who will suffer if those idiots take charge. It will be magical creatures as well. Now that would make a good story, if we could interview a Giant or someone and get their perspectives. They are already oppressed by Wizards and it will only be worse if they take charge.” Now it was Remus’s turn to still. Lily and Sirius were decidedly not looking at him.

“That would be great!” Dorcas enthused. “Maybe not a Giant though, maybe a House-elf or someone?” Sirius scoffed.

“House-elves will just tell you what their bloody Mistresses tell them. You’d just get some useless drivel. Now the Centaurs, they are always good for a chat. Will tell you exactly where w

Wizarding kind can shove their wands.”

“As if you would know.” Lily crossed her arms and tried to stare Sirius down.

“You have me for my connections Evans, and I could certainly pull some strings and set up a chat with a Centaur if Marls was keen.”

“That would be amazing Sirius” Dorcas chimed in.

“It would be” Marlene agreed. “But I think it should be Lily who interviews the Centaur.”

“Why? I’m going the election piece.”

“Yeah, but you are also thinking of running for Head Girl right? So I just don’t think it’s ethical for you to write a piece on the election in case you end up running in it.” Remus had never had a sister, so he had never understood the subtleties of girls fighting. So he watched as an interested onlooker as Marlene outmanoeuvred Lily, without even breaking a sweat. This was without a doubt revenge for Lily making such a big fuss about her bringing Sirius on board. But Lily Evans prided herself on always acting in a fair manner, and by bringing up ethics Marlene effectively forced her hand. This was realised by both girls without a change in their expressions.

“Okay Black. Set up the meeting with the Centaur, but if it ends up being James Potter dressed as half a horse I will hex you into next week.” Sirius grinned.

“Oh Lily, I guarantee you if James was going to transform into any animal, it wouldn’t be a horse. He just isn’t hung like that” Remus caught Sirius’s smirk and rolled his eyes.

The meeting ended, and Remus headed off on his Prefect rounds. As he rounded the corner to the Entrance Hall he saw Sirius slipping out the main doors. Remus of course followed, but at a distance. It was better to get an idea of Sirius’s schemes before being caught up in one. Sirius headed down to Hagrid’s Hut and disappeared inside. Remus waited outside, drawing his cloak around himself in an effort to keep warm. Sirius eventually emerged, struggling to keep hold of a wriggling bundle under his shirt. Remus watched him struggle back up the path, raising an eyebrow once Sirius was close enough to see him. Sirius smirked.

“Ooh Prefect Moony, are we out of the castle at night?” His cockiness was immediately undermined by the wriggling bundle he was holding, hooting. Sirius jumped as the bundle nipped his finger, swearing loudly.

“Well Padfoot, it seems like you have this under control.”

“Hilarious Lupin” Sirius finally let the small owl he had stuffed up his jumper out. Transferring it to his shoulder, where it thankfully stayed. “It’s for Prongs” he added. “Hagrid helped me out with his connections.”

“By connections, you mean some shady guy in a pub right?”

“Almost certainly” Sirius smiled. “I was going to charm little antlers onto him before I handed him over. Wanna help?”

“Only to make sure you don’t accidentally permanently stick them there instead. Not a big fan of animal cruelty.” Sirius looked a little hurt at that. Remus knew that he felt really guilty about killing the Potter’s owl.

“Have you named him?” Remus asked, as they worked together transfiguring owl sized antlers from some pretzel sticks Sirius had brought with him.

“Of course!” Sirius took great pride in his great naming skills. “Moony, let me introduce you to Comet.”

“Nice. Like one of Santa’s reindeer?”

“What now?”

“Your mother never read you ‘Twas the night before Christmas’?” Remus teased.

“Moony, I’m guessing that’s a Muggle story and dear Wally would have a House-elf decapitated for reading little me a Muggle bed time story.”

“Hmm I keep forgetting how lacking your education was before you were able to hang out with Half-bloods” Remus mocked. “So why Comet then?”

“Ahh well you see Moonbeam it just so happens Comet here is a racing owl. Bet he’s faster than Prongs. Speedy beast like that needs a speedy name” Remus snorted.

“Never heard of owl racing. Hagrid’s mate told him that I bet.”

“Just think Moony” Sirius beamed. “We can start an owl racing gig on the side.”

“Well I’m sure Slughorn would be up for it” Remus mused. They finished charming on the antlers, and started heading back to the common room so Sirius could surprise James with his new pet. It felt so easy, Remus realised as he listened to Sirius planning Hogwarts’ first owl racing event. It would be so easy to just forget that Sirius had almost made him a murderer. Had almost killed a fellow student, something that Remus never thought Sirius was capable of – no matter how much Snape annoyed him. It would be so easy to return to normal. If Remus would only let himself. But he wasn’t ready. Not yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from Carpet a song by Lande Hekt. A perfect song for Remus.


End file.
